Fr. Thomas M. Pastorius
November 2, 2014
Spiritual Ponderings
Virtue Development
Honesty

For the last five years, I have devoted the month of November to the topic of character development by focusing on the importance of virtues and their development in our lives. During this time, I have used Barbara C. Unell and Jerry L. Wyckoff’s book: 20 Teachable Virtues: Practical Ways to Pass on Lessons of Virtue and Character to Your Children. In their book Barbara and Wyckoff try to help people seize moments of life and use them to help us teach young people about the importance of the different virtues. Let us start pondering these last four virtues in their book.

Honesty
Honesty/honest: adj. 1. Truthful; trustworthy 2. Sincere or genuine. 3 gained by fair means. 4. Frank; open

“Again you have heard that it was said to your ancestors, ‘Do not take a false oath, but make good to the Lord all that you vow.’ But I say to you, do not swear at all; not by heaven, for it is God’s throne: nor by the earth, for it is his footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. Do not swear by your head, for you cannot make a single hair white or black. ^* Let your ‘Yes’ mean ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No’ mean ‘No.’ Anything more is from the evil one. - Mathew 5:33-37

I am not sure where I heard it but the saying “The truth is the only thing that cannot be imitated,” has been one of those sayings that has always stuck in the back of my mind. In fact we often measure the quality of a lie by how close it comes to the truth without being the truth.

John Paul II in his philosophical and theological talks made the statement somewhere that “no one ever invented a language in order to lie.” Languages were meant to convey truth. In the movie Dances with Wolves Lt. John Dunbar (Kevin Costner) tries to learn the Native American language by discovering their word for “buffalo”. He gets down on all fours and puts a pillow in his shirt and begins to walk around. He eventually makes horns with his fingers and says the word “buffalo”. The wise Native American Kicking Bird responds with the word “tatanka” which meant buffalo in his language. Both are excited because now they have at least one word in common. Neither of them go through this effort in order to lie to one another.

In the more recent movie Frozen, the young Prince Hans goes from being a lovable character to being the villain of the story simply by revealing the truth that he has been lying all this time in regards to his feelings for Anna. No one likes a liar because no one likes to be lied to.

While being deceitful and dishonest may increase one’s chances at temporary success, it often leads to a long time failure as lies fall apart. It is important for people striving to be honest to keep it mind that it is harder for a child

10 Steps to Develop Honesty
1. Most television shows and movies have villains who lie and cheat and it is good to point out to children how people feel about liars and cheaters.
2. Lead by example. Tell the truth as much as possible.
3. Lead by example. When caught in a lie admit it.
4. Lead by example and do not spread rumors or other things that might be untrue.
5. Have a child, who is caught in a lie, to explain why they lied.
6. Have a child, who is caught in a lie, explain the other lies that he or she had to make in order to keep the first lie going.
7. Show examples of people being honest
8. Explain how honesty is a way of building trust with others.
9. Reward honesty in others
10. Make sure to teach others how to be honest with themselves.