Fr. Thomas M. Pastorius January 21, 2017 Spiritual Ponderings Tough Topic: Pro-Life and Fear
Last October, I had the privilege of preaching at the Respect Life Convention. For my spiritual ponderings today, I would like to share with you that homily.
I was ordained to the priesthood on Memorial Day weekend, but I would not begin my first assignment as a priest to nearly a month later. I arrived at my first assignment full of excitement and energy. My pastor handed me the keys to the parish and then began his month long vacation. I remember praying before I went to sleep that night hoping that the “emergency line”, a special extension set up in order to get in touch with a priest after office hours, would not ring. Around two o’clock in the morning the phone rang and I answered it. As I answered the phone, I remember simultaneously praying and hoping that the phone call was not about a sick child. Once again though God did not answer my prayer for it was about a one-year-old who was dying of cancer. She was not expected to make it through the night.
I quickly got dressed and drove to the hospital. The whole time, I kept trying to figure out what I was going to say. I do not remember much of what happen that night except, I know that I did not do much of the talking. The young girls parents with an amazing faith told me of their loving daughter and of the pain they were feeling and then they told me something that has always stuck with me. They said that if they would have to do it all over again with all the pain and heartache that they would because they loved their daughter that much.
Jenna would make it through the night, her little body fighting off the staff infection. Getting to know little Jenna over the next few months was a great blessing. One of my favorite memories of being is a priest was the opportunity to celebrate Mass with Jenna and her family in their home at the suggestion of my pastor.
I can still recall with vivid details sitting in the back of the Church praying before the all school Mass that I was about to celebrate when Jenna’s father walked in and informed that Jenna had passed away. I prayed with him for a moment and then began Mass. I was so broken up that when I could not remember my homily and so I simply asked the children to join me in praying a “Hail Mary” for Jenna.
A few years later, I found myself in the back of the parish Church as the 6PM Youth Mass was about to come to an end. I had not been the celebrant that evening, but I wanted to greet the people as they left the Church. As I walked into the Church, I caught sight of Ann. Ann was a person in the parish that I had wanted to introduce myself to for some time because I had known her husband Ken pretty well from working with him, as he was a core member for our youth ministry program. Ann and Ken had three children and at this time Ann was standing in the back of the Church trying to keep their youngest quiet. For some reason that night, though, I chickened out and never introduced myself to her. The next day as I received a call because Ann had been diagnosed that morning with terminal cancer and Ann was told that she only had three months to live at most. I traveled down to the hospital and spent the rest of day with Ken and Ann.
Over the next three months, I would spend a lot of time with Ann as she prepared to move onto the next life. I can remember one time Ann and I were talking and she told me that she used to hate her husband Ken because when he got into the car he could listen to any radio station that he wanted to but when she got into the car she had to listen to Barney the Dinosaur and the Wiggles. She went on to tell me how now she realized how silly she had been and that she would do almost anything to be in her car driving her children around listening to those children’s songs over and over again.
One day as if she was reading my mind, she told me that even though the cancer was painful she would not go back if she could and shorten her time through suicide for she now in a special way saw time as a treasure and she was going to enjoy every moment she could with her husband, children, and the rest of her family. (to be Continued)