Fr. Thomas M. Pastorius September 3, 2017 Spiritual Ponderings Seven Steps to Bring Your Child Home to the Faith
I cannot think of anything more important for Catholics today than the issue of fallen away Catholics. I believe all of us know at least one person who has drifted away from the Church during our lifetime. Sadly the people we know are close family members. Sadly many of these people leave the Church because they have had a negative experience with someone (or someones) or they never received the faith in its fullest form. I know for a fact that if I had not gone onto the seminary, I would not be Catholic today because the information I received in religious education classes were simply inadequate. (Nothing against my teachers for they were good people, who strived to do their best). I would like therefore this month to devote my spiritual ponderings to reflecting on how to invite people to give the Catholic Church another chance to be their spiritual home. In order to provide a structure for these reflections, I will be referring to a 2015 article from Our Sunday Visitor entitled “Seven Steps to Bring Your Child Home To the Faith” by Brandon Vogt. Quotes from Brandon’s article will be in bold and my commentary will be in the normal font.
Whenever I talk to parents facing this problem, they often use the words “helpless” and “hopeless.” They feel helpless because their children tune them out or ignore them whenever they bring up religious topics, and they feel hopeless because they think it’s impossible their children would ever come back. These parents are desperate to do something — they just don’t know what to do. I’m convinced what they most need is a plan, for as the French writer Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said, “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” It’s not enough to just sit back and hope our children will return. We need a proven road map.
When I know that I am going into a meeting and I want a certain outcome from it, I always find that I do better when I go into the meeting with a plan. For example, when I present an idea to a group, I can explain to the group how the pro’s outweigh the cons. Doing this shows to others people how serious I am about the subject matter and helps me to avoid pitfalls that would jeopardize my intended outcome. In a similar way having a plan to engage a fallen away Catholic allows you to see and best use the opportunities that lay before you and to avoid pitfalls that would make it harder to achieve your goals.
1. Pray, fast and sacrifice If you aren’t doing these three things, the other steps won’t matter. Commit right now to praying 5-10 minutes each day for your child’s return. Jesus’ parable of the persistent widow (Lk 18:1-8) confirms that God loves tireless prayer — even if you pray for the same need every day. Don’t give up, and don’t think your prayer is unheeded or pointless. Look at what St. Monica’s prayers did for St. Augustine. Also, fast and sacrifice for your child. Skip a meal, give up Facebook or Netflix for a week or willingly bear a small pain. Then offer your sufferings to God on behalf of your child. Unite them to the cross and ask that he send new grace into your child’s life.
It is important to pray because prayer is conversing with the God. The better your prayer life is the more joyous you will be, the better you will be able to handle difficult situations in life, and the more you will be able to be yourself (because you know God’s love for you.) These are three things that all people look for in life. Everyone wants more joyful, to face difficult situations without fear, and to be authentically themselves (and be loved for being their true-selves).
Fasting reminds us that there the first sin (or sign of distrust of God’s love) was a fast. Fasting allows us to demonstrate in a real way that God is the most important thing in our life and that we trust him to take care of our needs. It also shows that we are willing to give things up because being relationship with God is more important than physical pleasures (probably at least one of the reasons why the person left the faith).
Sacrificing for something shows how much we want something. Parents for example sacrifice their time, sleep, and even their own wellbeing in order to help their children succeed. In the same way sacrifices are a visible sign of showing others what we are willing to give up to have God in our lives. Part of the reason why I have such a love for the Mass was because my mother made many sacrifices to make sure all six (children) went each week especially when we were on vacation. The sacrifices she made demonstrated to me how important Mass was.