Fr. Thomas M. Pastorius September 26, 2017 Spiritual Ponderings Seven Steps to Bring Your Child Home to the Faith
St. Monica prayed many years for the conversion of her son Augustine. It is therefore important to remind yourself that God’s time is not our time. It is also important that we continue to grow stronger in our own faith life. Here are the last two steps from Brandon Vogt’s article in bold and my commentary in normal font.
6. Invite and connect Once your child expresses curiosity and openness to returning, invite him to a parish event. This might be a weekend retreat, such as Christ Renews His Parish or Cursillo, or perhaps a parish small-group study or community event. Your goal is to usher him into the life of the parish, which will re-establish the communal bonds of faith. If your child is in college, connect him with the local Catholic campus ministry, such as FOCUS or the Newman Center. Leaders there will be thrilled to talk with him and help him on his journey. Don’t move too fast, though. Only extend these invitations after he’s expressed openness to returning, otherwise you may push him away.
I know that one of the things that keep me Catholic is the example and faith stories of others. Often when I begin to doubt, I stop and think just for a moment about a person I know who has more reasons to stop believing than I do and yet they believe. My mother lost a child (my older sister when she was four and I was two). I cannot imagine the pain she feels but I can see that she only gets through it (or deals with it) through the power of her faith. If she can continue to believe so can I. Many of my good friends keep me faithful through their selfless service of others in the name of Jesus. It is important that we remind those returning and ourselves that it is alright to be inspired by others holiness but we should never compare ourselves with others.
7. Close the loop Finally, you need to help your child formally reconcile with the Church. Lots of people get stuck here. A priest once told me about a lady who left the Church as a teenager and stayed away for over 30 years. Her reason? She simply didn’t know how to come back. Don’t let that happen. Once your child is ready to return, talk with your pastor and determine the right steps to close the loop. Maybe he just needs a good confession, or perhaps the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA) is more appropriate. A good priest will assess the situation and determine the best next steps.
Formal recognition of someone coming back (even if not public) can help a person connect better with the larger community.
Obviously, we’ve only scratched the surface of this road map. To go much deeper, check out the tips and strategies in “RETURN.” The key is to never give up hope. Hopelessness is not a word in God’s vocabulary. As long as your child still has breath, there is always hope. God loves your child even more than you do. As much as you yearn for your child to come home, God desires his return infinitely more and is continually working to make that happen, even when things appear dire. So trust God, beg him to keep moving in your child’s life, and be confident that he will bring your child home.
Prayer For the Return of Lapsed Catholics to the Sacraments Almighty Father, You desire not the death of the sinner, but that he may be converted and live. Pour out upon us Your mercy and hear the prayers of Your servants. Soften the hearts of Your children who have strayed from the true path which You established for their salvation. They are now forgetful of their duties as Catholics, and pursue the pleasures of the world. Grant that they may quickly return to the practice of every Christian virtue, so that their lives may shine with the integrity of faith, the fervor of piety, and the ardor of charity. Restore them all to Your sacraments and the life of Your grace, through the merits of the most precious blood of Your Son, our Savior Jesus Christ. Amen