Fr. Thomas M. Pastorius
January 10, 2016
Spiritual Ponderings
Loving The Church

"There are not one hundred people in the United States who hate The Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they wrongly perceive the Catholic Church to be," — Fulton J. Sheen. It seems like the number of people who hate The Church keeps growing. I pray that Fulton Sheen is right and that they just have to understand what the Church is teaching fully. Here are some more ways in which we can grow more in love with the Catholic Church instead of hoping that she will change something soon. Remember this list comes from my reflection on how to love the Church and my advice I give to engage couples.

3. Avoid Defensiveness (Personal Weaknesses)
One of the things that I have to repeat to myself often is the saying from St. Augustine “The Church is a hospital for sinners and not a hotel for saints.” I believe that it is almost impossible being a priest in the post scandal Church today and not feel at least a little bit persecuted by the Church’s hierarchy. For example, all it used to take for me to work a youth camp in another diocese was a letter from my bishop to their bishop. Starting this year, I had to watch a one hour video online and submit to background checks from the diocese that the camp was in because the letter from my bishop was no longer good enough. At first, I was offended, but I remembered the idea that defensiveness rarely ever accomplishes anything but more conflict because when I get defensive I often aggressively criticize the person I am defending myself from. This year, I decided to turn the other cheek and I prayerfully decided to offer up this extra inconvenience and hurt feelings for a sick friend.

I think of Mother Teresa’s prayer:
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway in the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

4. Understand Defensiveness (Weakness in Others)
One of the most important lessons I learned in counseling is that uncalled for aggressiveness can be a sign of weakness in the person who is being aggressive. For example, when two adults are chatting with one another, they should both feel that they are on equal grounds, but sometimes a person for one reason or another does not feel equal to the other person. In the conversation they might try to compensate by raising their voice and becoming more intimidating. The saying therefore “The loudest one in the room is the weakest” often rings true. When someone attacks me for something I said in a homily or a new policy in the parish in a way that that appears to be hateful, crude or obnoxious, I can see the truth that how they are behaving says more about them than it says about me. I am not only able to keep my calm, but also unite my sufferings with Christ who suffered so gracefully through the Passion.

Here are three more pieces of advice from Cardinal Thuan.
1. Do not be surprised when people seek to destroy the Church. They seek to kill Christ again, but since they cannot do so, they seek to destroy the Church which is the Body of Christ.

2. You say that you would never turn against the Church, but you do not hesitate to oppose the representatives of the Church. If this is how you thing, you are playing games!

3. Before you criticize the Church as being removed from social reality, read the documents and encyclicals of the popes. You will be surprised to discover that they have dealt with every problem with deep insight. You will see just how radical and advanced were their policies of renewal, drawn from the Scriptures, the grace of God, and tradition. As Pope Pius XII once said, if we put into practice even a little of the popes’ teachings the Church and the world would be transformed.