Fr. Thomas M. Pastorius
August 2, 2015
Spiritual Ponderings
Helping Fallen Away Catholics

Let us begin this month’s Spiritual Ponderings by reflecting on the following passage from the Gospel of Luke: The tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to listen to him, but the Pharisees and scribes began to complain, saying, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.” So to them he addressed this parable. “What man among you having a hundred sheep and losing one of them would not leave the ninety-nine in the desert and go after the lost one until he finds it? And when he does find it, he sets it on his shoulders with great joy and, upon his arrival home, he calls together his friends and neighbors and says to them, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you, in just the same way there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who have no need of repentance. (Luke 15:1-7).

As we reflect on this passage about God’s love for those that have wandered away from Him and the lost today there are sometimes I wonder if Jesus would reverse the numbers and talk about a shepherd who had ninety-nine sheep wander away while one stayed. It is no secret that there are many more people leaving the Catholic Church then that are being converted. I have heard it said over and over again that surveys say that the largest denomination in the world is Catholics and the second is “fallen away” Catholics. I therefore would like to reflect and ponder with you this month what is it that we can do to help God’s lost sheep find their way back to God and his flock (The Catholic Church).

Sr. Theresa Aletheia Nobel FSP recently authored a book on the subject of fallen away Catholics that she titled The Prodigal You Love: Inviting Love Ones Back to the Church. In her book Sr. Theresa shares with her readers her experience of going from being a cradle Catholic to a fallen away Catholic and finally finding her way back to the Catholic Church. Throughout her story she shares with us some of the things that made it difficult and sometimes even presented for her to return to the Catholic Church and she shares with us some of the things that ultimately led her to return to her Catholic Home. Quotes from her book will be in bold and my commentary will be in regular font.

Even Jesus had a hard time getting through to his friends and family.
It does not do you any good to have unrealistic expectations when interacting with others especially family members. For we either get mad at others for not cooperating, we get mad ourselves for not being good enough, or both. All we can do is do our best. When we do poorly we ask for forgiveness and try again. If the other person does not respond the way that we would like them to all we can do is pray. Either way is better than us beating them or ourselves up.

Humility is absolutely essential in our relationships with loved ones who are away from the Church. If we do not understand the importance of humility, then chances are we will hurt rather than help the likelihood of our loved ones’ return to the Church.
Why is humility particularly important in interactions with loved ones who are not practicing their faith? First of all, because humility is the virtue our loved ones need in order to return. Faith begins with humility. In the encyclical Light of Faith (Lumen Fidei,) Pope Francis writes: “Faith is God’s free gift, which calls for humility.” The journey of faith is a process in which one’s perspective in live increasingly shifts away from self and toward God. If we do not model humility, then we do little to encourage an attitude of faith in our loved ones.
If a person is going to return to the Catholic Church they are going to have to be humble enough to admit that they had made a mistake and only people who are humble can do that. If we model the virtue of humility by admitting our mistakes we can become a great resource to them. Remember the purpose is to enter into dialogue with them and not conflict. Dialogue is where both people desire to find the truth or the best way to do something. In conflict one or both parties are not interested in the truth but rather are interested in “winning” the argument. It is also debate things with kindness and not to criticize (attack) them.

Secondly, humility is also important because if we are not humble, we can easily fall into the trap of thinking that we are responsible for another person’s return to the Church. This attitude is perhaps among the most dangerous and can be lead to serious missteps that push people away. In order to really live in a compelling way that leads others to faith; we have to give up any savior-complex we might have. What we say and do is not going to save anyone. We have a Savior and his name is Jesus. In order to make any difference in our loved ones’ lives, we have to let go of any self-centeredness in our desire for someone to the Church.

God has the whole view of the chessboard/puzzle and we can only see a part of the board or only a few of the pieces. Take for example the story of Moses. Moses not only left his Jewish faith behind but ran off to a distant country. God though found Him through the Burning Bush and commissioned Moses to be the great deliver of Israel.

People are also more willing to approach a humble person for help then people they find intimidating.