Evangelization
01-08

One of the greatest books in the business world is Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. The aim of the book is to help people learn that the best way to convince people is not through demands and force but rather through caring about them. I believe that Dale Carnegie’s book could be very helpful in evangelizing. Here are his nine principles and some personal commentary.

Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
As Christians we believe that people are good people and when we want them to become Catholic, I think that it best to approach them in a way that shows them that we want them to be a part of our faith family. People want to belong and God is calling them. People though don’t want to feel like a burden so if they feel like they have something to offer then they are most likely to give Church a chance.

Principle 2: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
When we directly attack someone’s sinfulness we can drive them away. If however we offer then the answer to their deepest desire (God), they will then begin to see their sinfulness and make a mends for it not out of fear of punishment but rather out of a desire to return God’s love.

Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
The greatest way to bring someone to Christ is to do so by sharing one’s own faith story. I know that I grow closer to God when I hear someone else tell me their faith story. I believe it is similar with alcoholics. By sharing their stories they remain sober.

Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
As Catholics we believe that God is the ultimate fulfillment of our every desire and that every human being is searching for God. Sometimes the wise teacher asks the right question in order to get them thinking about what it is that are searching for.

Principle 5: Let the other person save face.
People are like turtles. If you want them to come out of their shell you have to make them feel comfortable. The best way to make them feel comfortable but the best way to do that is to let people know they are in an environment where they will not be judged.

Principle 6: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
Following Christ is a hard thing especially for beginners. Praising someone helps them remain steadfast in this new way of life.

Principle 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
We are called to be role models for others - plain and simple.

Principle 8: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Remind people of God’s ability to do anything. Scripture can help with this.

Principle 9: Make the other person happy about doing the things you suggest.
Being a Catholic should not have to be drudgery. It is rather a great joy. Does our personal outlook on life help others to see it?

Changing The World through Changing Yourself
When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family. Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world. - Unknown Monk (1100AD)

"When it comes to change, there are three seasons of timing: People change when they hurt enough that they have to, when they learn enough that they want to, and when they receive enough that they are able to." - John Maxwell

The challenge for the Christian is not necessarily to convert another person to the faith but to do so with love instead of with force.

Fr. Thomas M. Pastorius
September 7, 2014
Spiritual Ponderings
7 Deadly Sins of Evangelization

I do not think that there has been a bigger buzzword in the Catholic Church in my life time than the word “Evangelization.” It is a term that I have seen thrown around by almost every part of the Church. It is also a term that I have come to fear because often when people who use that term seem to have a hard time in discussing the faith without getting malicious. There have been too many times in which I have been discussing an aspect of our Catholic faith only to be labeled a heretic because the other person could not convince me of their point of view or their method of doing something. It was therefore with great interest that I purchased Mark Brumley’s book: How Not To Share Your Faith: The Seven Deadly Sins of Catholic Apologetics and Evangelization.

In preparing to read the above mentioned book, I did a little research into the author. I wanted to know who Mike Brumely was and what would make him an expert in the field of Evangelization. The following is his bio from the Catholic Answer website (www.catholic.com):

Mark Brumley is president of Ignatius Press, one of the nation's largest Catholic publishers and distributors of videos and music. A former staff apologist with Catholic Answers, he is author of How Not to Share our Faith, co-author of A Study Guide for Jesus of Nazareth: Holy Week, and a contributor to The Five Issues That Matter Most. He is also the executive producer of several documentaries, including The Story of the Nativity, Lost Gospels or False Gospels, and Did Jesus Really Rise from the Dead?. He is the former director of Communications and of the Office for Social Ministries of the Diocese of San Diego.

As we look at the Seven Deadly sins of Evangelization, we will use Mark Brumley’s book as a guide. Quotes from his book will be in bold and my thoughts will be in the normal font.

1. Apologetically Gluttony
We might call the First Deadly Sin of Catholic Apologetics the Sin of Biting Off More than You Can Chew. Not ordinary gluttony; this is a failure to respect the limits of what apologetics can accomplish. We might also have named this Deadly Sin of Apologetical Gluttony… Unfortunately, some apologists try to prove the unprovable. They forget that apologetics is a branch of sacred theology, which rests on the supernatural mysteries of divine revelation, the word of God, and upon faith. Human reason cannot, on its own power, come to know supernatural mysteries; they are above the “natural light of reason.” They require revelation on God’s part and faith on ours (cf. The Catechism of the Catholic Church 50, 142, 143) if we are going to affirm them.

When defending or spreading our faith, it is most important that we do not bite off more than we can chew. As Catholics we believe that God is so magnificent and amazing that God cannot be define or put into a box. There are certain things that must be experienced and taken on faith like the Sacraments.

On the Catholic view, faith is gratuitous and supernatural; as the work and gift of God, it rests ultimately on his authority, not our arguments… We cannot resist faith, but we cannot produce it through human effort. Not even the best apologetics argument ever devise can do that.

As Catholics we know that no one will ever come up with the perfect argument that will convince everyone to become Catholic. God chooses to respect our free will in this way. There will always be those who will not accept the gift of faith no matter how it is presented to them. Not even Jesus could make a believer out of Judas.

All we can do is prepare people for the gift of faith and the best way to do that is not to overwhelm them with arguments but with love. No one loves (or listens to) a know it all. Our example will always be the best way to evangelize. St. Francis of Assisi supposedly said “Preach the Gospel always and if necessary use words.”

Fr. Thomas M. Pastorius
September 14, 2014
Spiritual Ponderings
7 Deadly Sins of Evangelization

Before he ascended into heaven Jesus tells His disciples: “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Mathew 28: 18:20). I believe everyone eventually discovers that there is a right way to evangelize and there is a wrong way to do so and so therefore for this month, I would like to spend sometimes ponderings Mark Brumley’s Seven Deadly Sins of Apologetics and Evangelization as he outlines them in his book: How Not To Share Your Faith: The Seven Deadly Sins of Catholic Apologetics and Evangelization. Quotes from his book will be in bold and my reflections will be found in the normal font.

2. Reducing the Faith to Apologetics/Arguments
“It is absurd to argue men, as to torture them, into believing,” said Cardinal Henry Newman. From this comment, many Christians wrongly conclude that there is no point at all in arguing about religion. “Argument never convinced anyone,” they say.

I personally like to make a distinction between faith and religion. For me religion is the academic part of a faith. For example a non-Catholic can study our faith and past a test on the Twelve Apostles, the Ten Commandments, but that does not mean that they have experienced faith. Faith comes from faith experiences and sharing stories with others. This is why retreats and faiths haring groups can play an important part in a person faith development.

At the center of the Catholic is not a set of dogmas or doctrines but rather a person(s). Our God desires to be in a personal relationship with each of us and this is what faith is all about. Let us say for a moment that I have a good friend named Joe and I want you to meet him. I can tell you every fact that I know about Joe but unless you meet Joe you will never develop a friendship with him. In the same way, I can tell you everything I know about Jesus but unless you have a personal encounter with Jesus your will never know Jesus.

Similarly, our ability to marshal arguments for Catholic Doctrine will not save us.
Human beings like to do things and we often define our worth by what we do or how much we produce. We can therefore become more aggressive if we are trying to make a quota instead of inviting someone to meet a friend. We need to be careful that after leadings others to Christ that we do not hear Jesus say “I tell you I do not know you.”

3. Confusing the Faith with Arguments for it.
The Third Deadly Sin of Catholic Apologetics is to confuse the faith with the arguments for it. It is not simply a matter of reducing the Catholic faith to the arguments, but reducing faith to our own particular arguments for it, or at least those particular arguments that we find useful or persuasive.

As I stated above our faith is more about a relationship with the Blessed Trinity then it is about facts. Some of my favorite living role models in the faith know less about the facts of our faith than I do but their relationship with the Lord seems stronger. While I don’t think my grandmother could name the twelve apostles if her life depended upon it, at the same time I can never remember a time in which my grandmother doubted in God’s loving providence. Sometimes when I am in trouble, I wish I had her faith and confidence.

Furthermore, merely because we fail in argument and do not actually demonstrate what we set out to prove does not mean the thing we argued for is false. Yet, if we all your faith too closely with our arguments, the fate of the one will seem to guarantee the fate of the other.

When I was newly ordained I thought I had to know everything about every aspect of the faith and if I could not answer a question, that I was a failure. Now when someone asks me a question about the faith that I do not know, I have no problem in pointing them to another priest or person who is an expert in that area of the faith. I have also become aware of the fact that there are some aspects of the faith that need to be experienced and cannot be explained. My faith is stronger now that I can admit that I do not have all the answers.

Fr. Thomas M. Pastorius
September 21, 2014
Spiritual Ponderings
7 Deadly Sins of Evangelization

As we continue to look at the idea of how to be a good evangelizer by looking at the approaches we should avoid, let us look at sins four and five of Mark Brumley’s Seven Deadly Sins of Apologetics and Evangelization as he outlines them in his book: How Not To Share Your Faith: The Seven Deadly Sins of Catholic Apologetics and Evangelization. Quotes from his book will be in bold and my reflections will be found in the normal font.

4. Contentiousness
The Fourth Deadly Sin of Catholic Apologetics is plain old argumentativeness, or, if you like, contentiousness. Some apologists are always looking for a fight. They go out of their way to reduce the faith to areas of disagreements with others or at least put undue emphasis on disagreement.

As I prayed through Lent last year, a thought kept reoccurring in my mind and it was this – Jesus and the Pharisees/Scribes had more in common but yet the Scribes and Pharisees always seemed to be attacking Jesus. It reminded me that the devil came to divide but God’s work is about unity. This happens also in our world today. There seems to be some who are looking more for a fight to win then an opportunity to show love to others.

Defending the faith is not supposed to be about us but about God and his truth. We should not defend Catholicism because our Church is being attacked; that is the attitude of the nationalist or sectarian. Still less should we be defensive because our personal beliefs are challenged—as if the Catholic faith were merely a matter of our private philosophy of life or personal theology. No, we should defend the Church because we love God and the Church belongs to him, and because we love our neighbors, and the Church—on the Catholic view—is the God-given means of bringing people into full communion with Christ, the only Savior. If we truly believe that, then charity compels us to share the truth of the Catholic faith with others.

If we think God needs us to defend Him; we are sadly mistaken. Our Lord promised that the Church would not fall because of the Holy Spirit and not our efforts. In Mathew’s account of the Passion, one of the disciples leaps forward with a sword and the Jesus reprimands Him reminding everyone that Jesus could have easily called down twelve legions of angels to protect Him. The ultimate goal of defending our faith and introducing others to it is to with the grace of God save souls. If you have a good friend, then you would want others to meet that friend. This is true with God. Our desire to tell others about God should come from our friendship with Him and not a need to defend Him or to protect our beliefs. No one like a bully (especially an intellectual one) so we need to avoid contentiousness.

5. Friendly Fire
Not distinguishing enemies from allies is the Fifth Deadly Sin of Catholic Apologetics. We are in the middle of a culture war… In the grand scheme of things, it is not Catholics vs. Protestants so much as believers vs. unbelievers; absolutists vs. relativists. It is truth vs. error, with the old serpent, the Father of Lies using others to front for him. Consequently, we risk unintentionally shooting an ally (or ourselves in the foot) by always aiming our apologetically firepower so close to home—at those nearest us theologically-or at the other extreme, by shooting at anything that moves on the non-Catholic theological landscape.

While we should invite everyone to learn about our Catholic faith, I think it is important that there are non-Catholic faiths that hold many of the same moral beliefs as we do. It is therefore important to work with these non-Catholic faiths on moral issues like abortion, embryonic stem cells, etc. instead of debating doctrine for human lives are at stake. If a person while serving a cause like the pro-life movement for example decides that in the course of the ministry to explore the Catholic faith then by all means tell them about the faith. What I think we should avoid is refusing to work with other pro-life groups for example if they are not Catholic.

Among other things, ecumenism means stressing (and valuing) what we Christians have in common as well as discussing our differences. Both elements are needed if we are to attain the full unity Christ wills for his followers. And both elements have a role to play in the Church’s mission.

Over the years, I have found the best way to lead people to Christ is to start with what we have in common.

Fr. Thomas M. Pastorius
September 28, 2014
Spiritual Ponderings
7 Deadly Sins of Evangelization

One of the ways in which the Mass ends is with the celebrant encouraging the congregation “To go announce the Gospel of the Lord” and the people respond “Thanks be to God” for the chance to do so. This month we have been looking at seven ways in which we are not supposed to go forth because instead of proclaiming the Gospel of the Lord, we lead people (and even sometimes ourselves) away from the Good News of Jesus Christ by our words and actions Let us return then the Seven Deadly Sins of Evangelization and Apologetics according to Catholic evangelist and apologist Mark Brumley. We will once again use his book: How Not To Share Your Faith: The Seven Deadly Sins of Catholic Apologetics and Evangelization. Quotes from his book will be in bold and my reflections will be found in the normal font.

6. Winning at all Cost
In the game King of the Hill, children struggle to capture and hold the top of a hill, using almost any tactic they can get away with. The objective is to win, not to help others to the top. The Sixth Deadly Sin of Catholic Apologetics involves trying to “win the argument” –to be King of the Apologetic Hill—even at the expense of brining people the truth.

God always refused to use force to get His way. He created the world out of nothing and not in a violent struggle. He asked Moses, Joshua, Mary, etc. to be his servants. Jesus never called down a legion of angels to take care of his enemies. God is love and therefore we know that He can do nothing that is not loving. We his followers therefore should never do anything that it is not loving. Winning at all cost therefore is not an answer.

An overweening desire to win the argument can lead apologists into other mistakes, such as using any apologetical stick to be an opponent. The man out to win at all cost never met an argument against a non-Catholic position he did not like. He may even misrepresent facts in favor of the Catholic Church or against non-Catholics. Winning is the most important thing to him, and if the facts make it harder to win, then the facts be damned.

The Church is a “hospital for sinners not a hotel for saints” and so there are parts of our history that we are not necessarily proud of. As Catholics we cannot pretend these events did not happen. We have to acknowledge our sinfulness so that we can ask for forgiveness.

7. Pride
We come at last to the final Deadly Sin of Catholic Apologetics, one that should be familiar enough to all of us. It is the great capital sin of the moral life, pride. Pride is undue love of oneself—undue because it conflicts with reality. You and I may not be as good as we think we are. We may love ourselves too much. We can distort the legitimate appreciation we should have of the good residing in us or in what we have accomplished. WE can fail to see or acknowledge that good as God’s gift. This is where the sin of pride enters.

Pride is the most deadly of the seven deadly sins because it distorts our reality the most. Instead of placing God at the center of the universe and the goal of our life we place ourselves at the center of the universe and our physical pleasure as the goal of life. Instead of loving the person we are trying to convert, we become more focused on receiving the good feeling of the praise we receive for others for vanquishing a foe to the faith or converting another soul to Christ. Pride though blinds us to the fact that without God none of our accomplished would happen.

Pride, for an apologist, involves thinking more highly of one’s apologetical abilities than one should. The more effective an apologists someone becomes the greater the temptation of seeing himself as “The Catholic Answer Man.” “I have the arguments mastered,” someone may think, “I don’t have anything to learn.” He may forget that it is the Holy Spirit, not his cleverly crafted arguments, who reaches minds and hearts and brings people to faith.

Peter was gifted by the Father to be the first to recognized and proclaim Jesus as the Son of God but in the very next moment Peter, filled with pride, tries to lead Jesus away from the Cross. He is no longer concerned about what Jesus was trying to teach them for he knew better. We must be careful that we never lead people away from God’s plan and if Peter was guilty of this sin how much more are we capable of it.

Someone once asked Archbishop Fulton Sheen how many converts he had made over the years. The usually good-natured Sheen said, stern-faced, “I don’t keep count.”

Let us remember that in the end it was the Lord that gave us the gift of faith that we hold dear. He did so out love. When we approach others about the Catholic, let us do so out of love for them and in a loving way.

Photo by Will Porada on Unsplash

Fr. Thomas M. Pastorius
December 7, 2014
Spiritual Ponderings
7 Virtues of a Good Evangelizer

Recently we looked at the Seven Deadly sins that an evangelizer or someone trying to defend the Catholic Faith can commit while trying to do the good of spreading God’s kingdom. Now I would like to look at seven virtues that Catholics should develop. It is these virtues that will make them a walking/living sign pointing to people like Christ. For help looking at these virtues let us turn once again to Mark Brumley. Mark is the current president of Ignatius Press, the largest Catholic publisher and in the past wrote for Catholic Answer Magazine and spoke around the country defending the Catholic faith. His book: How Not To Share Your Faith: The Seven Deadly Sins of Catholic Apologetics and Evangelization will act as a guide for us. Quotes from his book will be in bold and my thoughts will appear in the normal font.

1. Prayer
The essence of prayer, as every well-instructed Catholic knows, is the lifting of the mind and heart to God (CCC 2559). Every Christian must pray, but prayer is especially important for the apologist. He must have the habit of it. Sheed says somewhere that the theologian who does not believe is like the gourmet chef who does not eat: he knows a lot about the subject matter of his expertise, but has never experienced its reality. We could say the same of the apologist who does not pray.

When I was in high school there was a time in which I decided that I no longer wanted to be a person of faith. I only saw faith as a set of rules that limited my fun. I went to Mass on Sunday’s not to disappoint my mother but that was the extent of my faith. Luckily for me, while I was at Mass I saw people live out their faith life in many ways. One of the older ladies in the parish whose name was Dorothy would pray the Stations of the Cross every morning after Mass. One day I asked her to explain why she took so much time to pray. She responded that she prayed the Stations of the Cross every day because it reminded her of all that God had suffered for her and it made her happy to know that God loved her so much. Through her example and the example of others I began to see that being a person of faith had more to do with memorizing facts. It was about building a relationship with a God who loved me so much that He willingly died for me.

Then, too, there are practical reasons for apologists to pray. Prayer can motivate us to engage in apologetics. As the apologist’s own prayer life grows, so does his displeasure with anything contrary to God’s will. God wills that all men be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth (1 Tim 2:4). Error keeps people from the truth. The closer the apologist grows to God in prayer, the more intense his hatred of error and his desire that all men know the truth; the more intense his desire to use apologetics to help bring people to the truth.

What does it mean to be in a relationship with a person? It means getting to know that person and allowing the things that matter to that person matter to you. The center of the Catholic faith is not a dogma but rather a being the Blessed Trinity. God desires a deep and intimate relationship with us. How can we truly know what is important to God unless we communicate with Him (and this communication is of course prayer).

Archbishop Fulton Sheen once wrote: “There are not one hundred people in the United States who hate The Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they wrongly perceive the Catholic Church to be.” I would hate for someone to miss out on heaven because of one of these misconceptions about the Catholic Church. I know in my own life that every time that I have disagreed with the teaching of the Catholic Church, that eventually with enough study and talking with others that I had to admit that I was wrong and that the Church was right. I also know that the only reason I was able to admit that I was wrong in any situation is because I am solid in my relationship with Jesus and I know that He loves me whether I am right or wrong.

I also know that when it comes to evangelizing that it does matter if I am right if I cannot express the truth of the faith in a way that will make others want to listen to. A polite question (“have you ever thought”) often goes much further than a direct statement (“you need too”).

Fr. Thomas M. Pastorius
December 14, 2014
Spiritual Ponderings
7 Virtues of a Good Evangelizer

As we strive to live out our Catholic faith we know that Jesus desires that we bring His good news to those around us and as Catholics we call this evangelization. It would therefore be helpful for us to look at what were the virtues or good habits good evangelizer develop so that we can make them our own. For help with this let us turn once again to Mark Brumely and his book: How Not To Share Your Faith: The Seven Deadly Sins of Catholic Apologetics and Evangelization will act as a guide for us. Quotes from his book will be in bold and my thoughts will appear in the normal font.

2. Study
Prayer is not enough; the apologists must also study. The apologists must be competent. Competence requires study. And the study must be ongoing because we never wholly master the faith or the objections raised against it. There is always more to learn. Thus, we must acquire the habit of study—study of the Catholic faith and whatever opposes it.

I think most people would be surprised to discover that the preferred undergraduate degree for seminarians is philosophy and not theology. The Church knows that it is important for seminarians first know how to think before they begin to mess with God’s Divine Revelation. After 10 plus years of priesthood, I believe the thing that amazes me the most is the stuff that I still do not know. I just finished a three year program in Ignatius spirituality and Spiritual Direction and was blown away by what I did not know about prayer and spiritual life. I currently read about a book a month, subscribe to three magazines, and sign up for a week long study course each year and there is still stuff I do not know. I also know as a good Catholic I also need to know what has gone in the world (if you don’t know your history you are doomed to repeat it) and what is currently going on. How can I vote responsibly or lift the world up in prayer if I do not know what is going on?

3. Dialogue
The Third Habit of Effective Apologists is dialogue. Dialogue here does not mean an occasional conversation with someone you disagree with but a habitual inclination to discuss—truly discuss—apologetic issues. Dialogue puts into practice what apologist learns through study. It is one thing to formulate arguments on one’s own, another to present them to someone who can argue back. The give and take of dialogue can help the apologist find weaknesses in his own arguments and understand the real issues dividing people.

I love dialoguing with people but I hate getting into a conflict with someone. What is the difference for a dialogue and a conflict? For me it is simple; in a dialogue both parties are searching for the truth or the best way to do something but in conflict one or both parties are out to win at any cost. There is no winner in a conflict.
One of the greatest books in the business world is Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. The aim of the book is to help people learn that the best way to convince people is not through demands and force but rather through caring about them. I believe that Dale Carnegie’s book could be very helpful in evangelizing. Here are his nine principles for my commentary on these principles please check out the evangelization section at www.mayjesuschristbepraised.com

Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Principle 2: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Principle 5: Let the other person save face.
Principle 6: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
Principle 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Principle 8: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Principle 9: Make the other person happy about doing the things you suggest.

Fr. Thomas M. Pastorius
December 21, 2014
Spiritual Ponderings
7 Virtues of a Good Evangelizer

Let us turn once again to Mark Brumely and his book: How Not To Share Your Faith: The Seven Deadly Sins of Catholic Apologetics and Evangelization so that we may discover the seven habits of a good evangelizer so that we can eventually make them our own. Quotes from his book will be in bold and my thoughts will appear in the normal font.

4. Clarity
Paul VI identified clarity as one of the characteristics of genuine dialogue. You cannot get very far in a conversation if you are not clear about what you mean. Clarity is required in at least two areas of theological discussion. First, regarding where we agree with others. As Paul VI noted, “A man must first be understood; and, where he merits it, agreed with.” Some differences are merely terminological. Catholics may not commonly use the expression “accepting Jesus as one’s personal Lord and savior,” for example, but there is nothing unCatholic about the basic idea it expresses.

I can still remember being a little kid and talking to one of my grandmother’s friends. Her name was Bernice. Bernice had just looked out the window and saw that it was raining. She said out loud: “Oh my, it is raining. I guess I am going to get wet and melt.” I turned to her and in front of a large group of people asked “Are you a witch?” My mom reprimanded me for asking the question and I was very confused. Later I realized what had happened. I had just finished watching the Wizard of Oz earlier in the day where the witch melts when she is hit by water. My grandmother’s friend was thinking of a saying along the lines “Science has proved that sugar melts in water, so please don't walk in the rain, otherwise I may lose a sweet friend like u!!! This was probably my first lesson in the differences between ages and the importance of clarity.

5. Faith
Apologists can miss the point of believing by embracing “the faith” as a set of propositions or even as a mere philosophy of life. We have already seen that genuine faith entails believing on the authority of God who reveals rather than on the strength of our arguments for belief. Although arguments may lead to motives of credibility, they are not themselves what we believe or even, ultimately, why we believe. When an argument lead s us to conclude that a particular dogma of the faith, rests on God’s authority, not the force of the argument. We are not, then, believing a set of conclusions no matter how cogently argued. We are saying yes to God and to what he has revealed.

There are many things that I do not always understand about why Catholics do what they do. I accept it though as a matter of faith because I believe that the Church is the body of Christ and the pope is the head of the Church and Jesus will not let the pope error in areas of faith and morals.

I know that as an individual, there are certain things that I like and other things I do not like for example cooked spinach. I would personally be offended if someone tried to force me to eat cooked spinach. If I have preferences and dislike, I think it is safe to assume that God has preferences and dislikes. I believe that He reveals so of those likes and dislikes in Scripture. For example we see that God dislikes sin greatly.

One thing, I will never be able to explain is why the Church allows lay people to distribute the Eucharist but then instructs us that only the priest or deacon can purify (clean) the sacred vessels. Even though I do not understand this rule I follow it anyway because I figure there must be a reason that I just do not understand. God is smarter than I. I would never chosen the twelve apostles because I would have chosen people who were smarter, more popular, etc. but in the end I have to admit that Jesus chose the right people because His Church reaches all the corners of the world.

I want to follow God’s will even when I do not understand it. This is faith to me.

Fr. Thomas M. Pastorius
December 28, 2014
Spiritual Ponderings
7 Virtues of a Good Evangelizer

We come now to the last two virtues that will help us become better proclaimers of the Good News of Jesus Christ. I hope that our reflections on these virtues have helped you become better at telling others about Jesus Christ even if it has only been through your actions. I also hope that you have learned what some of the non-productive ways of spreading the faith are and I hope that you will avoid those in the future. Let us once again turn to Mark Brumely and his book: How Not To Share Your Faith: The Seven Deadly Sins of Catholic Apologetics and Evangelization. Quotes from his book will be in bold and my thoughts will appear in the normal font.

6. Hope
The Sixth Habit of Effective Apologists is the theological virtue of hope. We already mentioned it in connection with prayer: turning to God in dependence on him in prayer is tied to hope. Now we consider it directly, in itself. Hope is the virtue by which we desire God as our highest good and firmly expect to enjoy eternal life with him, trusting and relying on him to provide us with the necessary means (CCC 1817, 2090). Hope is the virtue of placing our confidence in God because he is all-good and all-powerful. Since he is all-good, he wants to save us. Since he is all-powerful, he can accomplish what he wants.

In the few times I have heard Cardinal Dolan preach or read something that he has written he always seem to quote Leon Bloy who observed, “Joy is the infallible sign of God’s presence.” I know that I am excited to be a Catholic because of the hope I have in God. If God can overcome death then He can overcome any of my sins, imperfections, or mistakes. I know that I personally have a problem showing joy because of my upbringing. There are times in which I have think I am grinning ear to ear with the biggest smile anyone has ever seen but my outward face is flat lined. Those who get to know me know though I am a joy filled man because of the hope that I have in Jesus.

Spiritual writers point to two main sings against hope, presumption and despair. Presumption expects God to save us, without our willingness to use the means he has established. We sin by presumption when we judge ourselves capable of pleasing God by our own powers or when we think that God’s goodness will save us regardless of what we do or do not do (CCCC2090). Despair by contrast, either denies that god can save us even if we use the means he has given us, or it denies that he wants to save us (CCC 2091). In this sense despair is more than an emotional state; it is an act of the will to disregard God’s power and goodness.

I truly believe that all virtues are in the middle of two vices and we see above that the virtue of hope is surrounded by the vices of despair and presumption. I do my best in order to bring joy to my Heavenly Father but I strive to remember that God loves me whether I am winning or losing. On the other hand I do not want to take God for granted and so I try to live a life of gratitude.

7. Charity
Finally we come to charity, the greatest of the theological virtues and indeed the “form of all virtues (CCC1827). Charity is the virtue by which we love God above all things for his own sake and love our neighbor as ourselves for love of God (CCC 1822).

We must never forget the ultimate commandment is love God , neighbor and ourselves and those who do it the best should be our role models. We should all be striving to become saints.

Nor must we forget that God loves those with whom we are argue, that they are made in his image, and that Jesus died for them. This is the necessary link between love of God and love of neighbor for the sake of our love of God. The one is inextricably bound to the other.

God loved Judas as much as He did Peter the difference was Peter would ask for forgiveness and Judas did not. Love is something that grows when shared and not something that diminishes.

Photo by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash

Fr. Thomas M. Pastorius
September 3, 2017
Spiritual Ponderings
Seven Steps to Bring Your Child Home to the Faith
 
I cannot think of anything more important for Catholics today than the issue of fallen away Catholics.  I believe all of us know at least one person who has drifted away from the Church during our lifetime.  Sadly the people we know are close family members.  Sadly many of these people leave the Church because they have had a negative experience with someone (or someones) or they never received the faith in its fullest form.  I know for a fact that if I had not gone onto the seminary, I would not be Catholic today because the information I received in religious education classes were simply inadequate.  (Nothing against my teachers for they were good people, who strived to do their best).  I would like therefore this month to devote my spiritual ponderings to reflecting on how to invite people to give the Catholic Church another chance to be their spiritual home.  In order to provide a structure for these reflections, I will be referring to a 2015 article from Our Sunday Visitor entitled “Seven Steps to Bring Your Child Home To the Faith” by Brandon Vogt.    Quotes from Brandon’s article will be in bold and my commentary will be in the normal font. 
 
Whenever I talk to parents facing this problem, they often use the words “helpless” and “hopeless.” They feel helpless because their children tune them out or ignore them whenever they bring up religious topics, and they feel hopeless because they think it’s impossible their children would ever come back. These parents are desperate to do something — they just don’t know what to do. I’m convinced what they most need is a plan, for as the French writer Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said, “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” It’s not enough to just sit back and hope our children will return. We need a proven road map.
 
When I know that I am going into a meeting and I want a certain outcome from it, I always find that I do better when I go into the meeting with a plan.  For example, when I present an idea to a group, I can explain to the group how the pro’s outweigh the cons.  Doing this shows to others people how serious I am about the subject matter and helps me to avoid pitfalls that would jeopardize my intended outcome.  In a similar way having a plan to engage a fallen away Catholic allows you to see and best use the opportunities that lay before you and to avoid pitfalls that would make it harder to achieve your goals.
 
1. Pray, fast and sacrifice
If you aren’t doing these three things, the other steps won’t matter. Commit right now to praying 5-10 minutes each day for your child’s return. Jesus’ parable of the persistent widow (Lk 18:1-8) confirms that God loves tireless prayer — even if you pray for the same need every day. Don’t give up, and don’t think your prayer is unheeded or pointless. Look at what St. Monica’s prayers did for St. Augustine. Also, fast and sacrifice for your child. Skip a meal, give up Facebook or Netflix for a week or willingly bear a small pain. Then offer your sufferings to God on behalf of your child. Unite them to the cross and ask that he send new grace into your child’s life.
 
It is important to pray because prayer is conversing with the God.  The better your prayer life is the more joyous you will be, the better you will be able to handle difficult situations in life, and the more you will be able to be yourself (because you know God’s love for you.)  These are three things that all people look for in life.  Everyone wants more joyful, to face difficult situations without fear, and to be authentically themselves (and be loved for being their true-selves).
 
Fasting reminds us that there the first sin (or sign of distrust of God’s love) was a fast.  Fasting allows us to demonstrate in a real way that God is the most important thing in our life and that we trust him to take care of our needs.  It also shows that we are willing to give things up because being relationship with God is more important than physical pleasures (probably at least one of the reasons why the person left the faith). 
 
Sacrificing for something shows how much we want something.  Parents for example sacrifice their time, sleep, and even their own wellbeing in order to help their children succeed.  In the same way sacrifices are a visible sign of showing others what we are willing to give up to have God in our lives.  Part of the reason why I have such a love for the Mass was because my mother made many sacrifices to make sure all six (children) went each week especially when we were on vacation.  The sacrifices she made demonstrated to me how important Mass was.

Fr. Thomas M. Pastorius
September 10, 2017
Spiritual Ponderings
Seven Steps to Bring Your Child Home to the Faith
 
I have dedicated this month’s Spiritual Ponderings to reflect on ideas of how best to bring fallen away Catholics back to the Catholic Church.  Brandon Vogt’s article: “Seven Steps to Bring Your Child Home To the Faith” is providing us with the structure we need for this important topic that always has the possibility of derailing into many different tracks of thought if we are not capable. Quotes from Brandon’s article will be in bold and my commentary will be in the normal font. 
 
2. Equip yourself
You can’t give what you don’t have. You may be excited about sharing the Faith, but enthusiasm and goodwill won’t get you far. You need to know your faith. The two go-to sources are the Bible and the catechism. Become familiar with them and read them each day, in small doses. Then find good Catholic books that will help you explain and defend the Faith so you’re ready when your child reveals his main hang-ups with the Church.
 
Archbishop Fulton Sheen once said “There are not one hundred people in the United States who hate The Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they wrongly perceive the Catholic Church to be.”  I want to say three things on this topic. 
 
The first thing is that you do not have to know everything about every topic to be a good Catholic but if you do not know anything about the Catholic faith how can you convince people that you truly love the Catholic Church.  For example, I like baseball a lot, but I would have a hard time convincing anyone of that fact if I did not know who Jackie Robison was, the name of the local baseball team, or how many strikes it takes to make an out.  The more you take something seriously the more you show how much you care about the subject material.  Do you know the name of your bishop (archbishop)?  Do you know why Catholics should not live together before marriage? Do you know why Catholic go to Mass each week?
 
The second thing is that you do not need to know everything.  I used to think that I had to know everything and this would become very discouraging because there is just so much information about there.  Now when I don’t know something, I at least know where to look.  For example the other day someone asked me a question about Scripture and I did not have the answer to therefore I encouraged the person to contact the Scripture teacher at the seminary. 
 
Finally, each Catholic should find something that he or she does not naturally agree with the Church with and then struggle to figure out why the Church’s teaching is what is and why do we oppose it.  If we do those two things, we will witness to others how a person can take the Catholic faith seriously.
 
3. Plant the seeds
Even before you start discussing God or the Church with your child, you need to plant small seeds of faith and trust in his life. One seed is unconditional love. Your child needs to know that you’ll love him no matter what — no matter his moral choices or whether he stays away from the Church. He must know that you totally will his good. Only then will he listen to you. You should also begin planting “seed gifts” in his life. These are DVDs, books or CDs that can lead him to reconsider the Church. Many people who come back to the Church point to a resource like this that sparked their return. Leave a booklet on his desk, mail him a DVD or drop a CD in his car.
 
Planting seeds is always good when done in the right context.  I would not present faith gifts in a public context (for example a Christmas gift exchange).  Allow the person a chance to save face.  Allow them to explore the faith inspiring gift in an environment where he or she does not have to reject the gift in front of others in order to still appease their current crowd of friends.  

Fr. Thomas M. Pastorius
September 17, 2017
Spiritual Ponderings
Seven Steps to Bring Your Child Home to the Faith
 
I have dedicated this month’s Spiritual Ponderings to reflect on ideas of how best to bring fallen away Catholics back to the Catholic Church.  I know that this is an important topic too many of us because I believe we all know at least one person who has fallen away from the daily living out of one’s faith. Brandon Vogt’s article: “Seven Steps to Bring Your Child Home To the Faith” is providing us with the structure we need for this important topic that always has the possibility of derailing into many different tracks of thought if we are not capable. Quotes from Brandon’s article will be in bold and my commentary will be in the normal font. 
 
4. Start the conversation
At some point, you need to open a dialogue about God and the Church. You might say, “Can I ask you something? I wonder if you’d be up for talking about spiritual things some time. I know you have a mixed relationship with the Church, but would you be open to chatting about it with me? I just want to listen.” Then do just that: listen. Your goal is to detect why your child has drifted from the Church. Note that the reasons he gives may be different than what you expect. Ask him what he believes and why, and what pushed or pulled him away. Don’t respond to the objections or criticisms just yet — just absorb them. This may involve biting your tongue, but the scar tissue will be worth it!
 
Remember that the key here is dialogue.  In dialogue both parties want to discover the truth or the right way to do something.  If you are not looking for the truth or the best way to do something and when one or both parties have a desire to “win” the argument you are no longer dialoguing but rather you are in conflict.  Very few people are ever persuaded by conflict.  Remember therefore to always speak in a nice tone, never criticize or put down, etc. 
 
Remember also that the issue may not be the issue. 
 
5. Move the dialogue forward
You’ve now identified why your child left the Church. Maybe he drifted away unintentionally. Maybe he switched religions. Maybe he disagrees with the Church’s moral teachings. Or maybe he no longer believes in God.  Whatever the case, now’s the time to start discussing those factors. Speaking with joy and positivity, clear up any misconceptions he has. For example, if he says, “I was never spiritually fed as a Catholic,” it’s likely he never fully understood the Eucharist or was exposed to the great spiritual masters of our tradition. Gently propose those to him and encourage him to reconsider.
 
I am a big Star Wars fan.  I have loved the movies from the first time I saw them.  My love for them increased when I watched a documentary about the making of Star Wars.  The documentary helped me understand how truly radical George Lucas’s vision was and how his experience of making Star Wars has helped modern day movie making.  Did you know for example that George Lucas left Hollywood after making Empire Strikes back because he was fine by the Screen Actors guild and director’s guild for not having opening credits.  Angry, George left Hollywood and created Skywalker Ranch and it is there that he and his engineers created so much of the equipment used in modern film making today.  How can you help your love one know about the Catholic Church?  Maybe you could show them a good movie series like Catholicism by Fr. Robert Barron? 
 
You could also give them a copy of the lives of the saints.  They may be surprised to find out that Dorothy Day had an abortion which she later regretted.  They may also be surprised that a young Frenchman named Jacques Fesch is up for canonization despite being executed for killing a police officer because he became a mystic in prison after expressing sorrow for his life of crime.  They may be inspired by the life of Maximillian Kolbe who gave himself up to death so that another man could live.   They may also be inspired by the intellectual thought of Thomas Aquinas, Edith Stein, or the wit of G.K. Chesterton. 
 
Invite them to take a class with you or to watch a video program on the Catholic faith.  Show them that you are still learning and invite them to dive deeper into the Catholic faith. 

Fr. Thomas M. Pastorius
September 26, 2017
Spiritual Ponderings
Seven Steps to Bring Your Child Home to the Faith
 
St. Monica prayed many years for the conversion of her son Augustine.  It is therefore important to remind yourself that God’s time is not our time. It is also important that we continue to grow stronger in our own faith life.  Here are the last two steps from Brandon Vogt’s article in bold and my commentary in normal font.
 
6. Invite and connect
Once your child expresses curiosity and openness to returning, invite him to a parish event. This might be a weekend retreat, such as Christ Renews His Parish or Cursillo, or perhaps a parish small-group study or community event. Your goal is to usher him into the life of the parish, which will re-establish the communal bonds of faith. If your child is in college, connect him with the local Catholic campus ministry, such as FOCUS or the Newman Center. Leaders there will be thrilled to talk with him and help him on his journey. Don’t move too fast, though. Only extend these invitations after he’s expressed openness to returning, otherwise you may push him away.
 
I know that one of the things that keep me Catholic is the example and faith stories of others.  Often when I begin to doubt, I stop and think just for a moment about a person I know who has more reasons to stop believing than I do and yet they believe.  My mother lost a child (my older sister when she was four and I was two).  I cannot imagine the pain she feels but I can see that she only gets through it (or deals with it) through the power of her faith.  If she can continue to believe so can I.  Many of my good friends keep me faithful through their selfless service of others in the name of Jesus.  It is important that we remind those returning and ourselves that it is alright to be inspired by others holiness but we should never compare ourselves with others.
 
7. Close the loop
Finally, you need to help your child formally reconcile with the Church. Lots of people get stuck here. A priest once told me about a lady who left the Church as a teenager and stayed away for over 30 years. Her reason? She simply didn’t know how to come back. Don’t let that happen. Once your child is ready to return, talk with your pastor and determine the right steps to close the loop. Maybe he just needs a good confession, or perhaps the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA) is more appropriate. A good priest will assess the situation and determine the best next steps.
 
Formal recognition of someone coming back (even if not public) can help a person connect better with the larger community. 
 
Obviously, we’ve only scratched the surface of this road map. To go much deeper, check out the tips and strategies in “RETURN.” The key is to never give up hope. Hopelessness is not a word in God’s vocabulary. As long as your child still has breath, there is always hope. God loves your child even more than you do. As much as you yearn for your child to come home, God desires his return infinitely more and is continually working to make that happen, even when things appear dire. So trust God, beg him to keep moving in your child’s life, and be confident that he will bring your child
home.
 
Prayer For the Return of Lapsed Catholics to the Sacraments
Almighty Father, You desire not the death of the sinner, but that he may be converted and live. Pour out upon us Your mercy and hear the prayers of Your servants.  Soften the hearts of Your children who have strayed from the true path which You established for their salvation. They are now forgetful of their duties as Catholics, and pursue the pleasures of the world.  Grant that they may quickly return to the practice of every Christian virtue, so that their lives may shine with the integrity of faith, the fervor of piety, and the ardor of charity. Restore them all to Your sacraments and the life of Your grace, through the merits of the most precious blood of Your Son, our Savior Jesus Christ. Amen

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash