I am Fr. Thomas M. Pastorius (it is about 50/50 with whether or not people call me Fr. Tom or Fr. Pastorius. I was ordained a priest of the Archdiocese of St. Louis in 2003 and my first priesthood assignment was as associate pastor of Sacred Heart in Valley Park. I have also served as associate pastor at St. Norbert parish in Florissant and I assisted at Epiphany Parish in South St. Louis. I am currently the associate pastor of St. Mark's Parish on Morganford/Union.
I am the oldest of six children. (I had an older sister who dies when she was four and I was two so I often tell people that I am the oldest by default. Both of my parents are not only still living but they are still living in the same house that I grew up in. While I was growing up, I attended Church at St. William’s Parish (which is now closed so technically Holy Trinity would be considered my home parish now.)
I attended St. William’s elementary school and one year of St. Louis Preparatory Seminary (“Prep South”). Prep closed at the end of my freshman year, and I transferred to Ritenour High School in Overland/St. John area. I attended Kenrick-Glennon Seminary for college and graduate school. The college program was in conjunction with St. Louis University so I actually have a degree from St. Louis University with a double major in Philosophy and History. I have a Masters of Divinity from Kenrick School of Theology. My internship assignment was All Soul’s Parish in Overland and my deacon assignment was St. Gabriel’s in the city behind Ted Drew’s.
In addition to my work in the parish, I try my best to support the Office of Vocations in their efforts to promote priesthood and religious life. I have been very active in their summer camp programs: Kenrick Glennon Days (KGD), CHRISTPOWER, & Camp Mater Dei. I am also the current Archdiocesan Chaplain for the Catholic Committee on Girl Scouting.
What is the heritage of the name "Pastorius"?
Pastorius is actually a German name. The upper part of Italy and the lower part of Germany took a lot of Latin names. My ancestor Francis Daniel Pastorius founded German Town, Pennyslvania.
What is with all the "eeyores"?
When I was in college I suffered from depression and one of my friends told me that I sounded like eeyore from Winnie the Pooh - "No one ever notices me." After counseling, I was a much happier person to be around but my friends still on ocassion would refer to me as Eeyore as a way to remind me cheerfully of my past. One friend gave me an eeyore doll for my college graduation and when all my other friends saw this it became a running joke of sort to give me eeyorees as presents. I now have over two hundred different eeyores. I see it as something that was a sign of sadness has not become a sign of friendship and blessing for I look upon each one I realize how many friends I really do have.
Vocation Story Reflections
From time to time the Catholic Church takes time to set aside a whole year as a special time to focus on a particular aspect of our Catholic Faith. These special holy years usually does not start on January 1st and end on December 31st but rather they normally begin as on a day that commemorates a special spiritual event and then continues for the next 365 days. Pope Benedict XVI recently began the “Year of the Priest” in commemoration of the 150th anniversary of the death of St. John Vianney. St. John Vianney is the patron saint of priests and the only diocesan priest to ever be canonized. He is also consider a true model of pastoral priestly ministry. I therefore thought it would be appropriate to share with all of you some of my own personal reflections on the priesthood for this month.
The first thing that stands out in my mind in regards to my vocation story is that it is not very exciting or extraordinary. I did not see a burning bush like Moses, I was not awaken by a strange voice while napping in Church like Samuel, and no strange man ever got into my boat and after helping me catch a boat load of fish ask me to follow him like Peter, James and John. There were many times that I wished God would work that way and that my vocation story was as exciting as that of John the Baptist. As I grew in my faith and deeper in my relationship with God, I began to understand that those vocation stories were the exceptions to the way God normally worked and that most of the time God lets His will be known in much more subtle ways.
My vocation story began for me when I was in the fourth grade on the feast of St. Blasé. It is the custom of the Church to offer a special blessing for people on his feast day that contains a special focus on the person throat. My mother had told me that I needed to make every effort to get my throat blessed and so when the priest told our class that if we wanted our throat blessed that we needed to come down to the Church after school, I went. I was the only student that came down and from that moment on I was on the parish priests’ radar screen. Eventually, I was invited by my parish priest to attend a vocation summer camp and I absolutely loved it. In all honesty at that age I really did not have any idea what really meant to be a priest but I did really look up to the priests that I knew and really enjoyed the time I spent with the seminarians and the other kids my age who were exploring the idea of becoming priests. While my vocation story is in some ways really ordinary, I also believe that it is also quite extraordinary in the sense that God has guided me to this point in my life very quietly and subtly using other people and if it were not for the priests of my parish and the parishioners of St. Williams encouraging me and simply asking me to consider the priesthood, I would not be a priest today.
One of the saddest things about the Church during this current time is that people are not encouraging young people to consider priesthood or religious life. I once heard that the number one reason why men who are thinking about priesthood do not enter the seminary is because no one ever asked them to consider being a priest. Would there be having a “priest shortage” if these men would have simply been asked?
Why is that people are not asking young people to consider priesthood and religious life? I believe the first reason is that we personally do not trust in God enough ourselves. When my relationship with God is strong, I am certain that He wants what is best for me and therefore I am certain that He wants what is best for everyone else also. I am confident then in asking people to follow God’s will for them and to consider the option of becoming a priest or a religious. When my relationship with God is not as strong as it should be, then I begin to doubt that God wants what is best for me and therefore I clam up. Another way of looking at it, when I look at life as a battle between my will and God’s will to the point that if God gets His way then I lose as if God is in some sort of completion with me then I am less likely to talk to people about following God’s will for them by considering a way of life that the world sees as crazy and radical. However, when I see that God is not in competition with me but rather God wants what is best for me then I know what is best for God is best for me and what is best for God is best for the person that I am asking to consider to become a priest or religious.
I would like to take this moment at the end of this Spiritual Pondering, to ask you to please think about a particular young man that you think would make a good priest and ask him to consider it and to pray about it.
Vocation Story Reflection
One of my favorite television shows is Burn Notice on USA. It is a show about a spy who has been fired. One of the unique features of this show are the periodic voice-overs by the main character, Michael Weston, describing why he is doing what he is doing. At the beginning of one recent episode Michael explains that there really is no such thing as the “lone spy” because spies need support from others if they are to accomplish their mission. In a similar way there is no such thing as the “lone seminarian” because for a young man to discern a possible call to the priesthood he will need the support of his family, friends, and parish in order to overcome the obstacles that the world and the devil place in front of him. I know that in following my own call to the priesthood I would not have made it to ordination if it were not for the support I received from others.
My primary support for my vocation came from my parents and grandmother. What I appreciated the most about their support was that it came in a form that was pushing me in one direction or another but rather came in the way that they showed me that they would love me no matter what decision I made. I can remember in a special way having many conversations with my mother and without fail she would at some point remind me that she would love me no matter what choice I made. In a special way I remember my parents and grandma’s support each time I celebrate Mass because their names are engraved on the bottom of my chalice.
A second and important area of support came from other young adults that I met as I went through college and graduate school. From time to time I would meet other people my age that did not support my being in the seminary for one reason or another but overall most of the people my age I met in college supported my right to explore a call to the priesthood. There is one time in particular sticks out to me when I really felt supported by others. I had been helping out with a youth program near the seminary and I was invited over to a young newlywed couples house for dinner. I believe there were three newlywed couples and myself and after dinner we sat around and the young couples took the time to tell the story of how they fell in love and decided to get married. I was shocked when after each of the couples had told their story that they turned toward me and asked me to tell them why I was considering the priesthood. So I told them my vocation story and we spent the rest of the night talking about how in many ways it was similar to their stories. As I left to return to the seminary, I remembered feeling a deep sense of acceptance and feeling that as God had guided each of the couples to find their marriage vocation, God was helping me find my calling to the priesthood. I know for certain if it were not for the support of friends like those three couples, I would not have made it to ordination because the need to be accepted was really strong for me in my college years.
A third and equally important group that has supported me in my search for God’s will are a group of people I refer to sometimes as the nameless. I believe this story will help identify these people better. After my internship year, I was certain that I was being called by God to be a priest and that being a priest was what I wanted to do with my life. I was set to be ordained a deacon the year the priest scandal hit St. Louis. While I knew that I would never become a priest who abuses children, at the same time, I did not want to be viewed with suspicion the rest of my life because of a few bad priests. At the Chrism Mass (Holy Thursday Morning Mass at the Cathedral where the Holy Oils are blessed and priests renew their ordination vows), I was a master of ceremony and was given the task to lead the priests over from the Cathedral school at the right time. I was instructed to first go to the back of the Cathedral and look outside and see if there were protesters. If there were protesters I was told to bring the priests to the Cathedral by a different way. I was shocked when I opened the back doors of the Cathedral and saw people holding signs that read “We support our priests.” It was at that moment that I realized that God would support me in my vocation and I decided to become a priest. I am certain that these nameless people have no idea that they had such an impact on my vocation (unless one of you are reading this or have heard me use this story in a homily). As I end today’s reflection, I want to invite you to consider being a nameless supporter of vocations by supporting parish priests through always talking positive to them and about them. Maybe even take the step and offer them a compliment. I am not suggesting putting priests on a pedestal but I am suggesting that by having a positive attitude toward priests, you may inspire a young man to answer God’s call for him.
Vocation Story Reflection
I entered the seminary my freshman year of college with seven other guys from St. Louis. We came from all over the St. Louis area and with widely varied personal histories but we all came to the seminary to explore the possibility that God was calling us to serve Him and His Church as Roman Catholic priests. Out of the eight guys that started the seminary together, I was the only one who would eventually be ordained a priest. I am certain though that some of the guys who were a part of my freshman class were better qualified to be a priest than I was but in the end the other seven discerned that God was not calling them to priesthood. I think about this a lot because it is a reminder to me that God has a specific plan for each person and He requires each person to discern his or her vocation in life.
For me the seminary was the perfect place to explore a possible vocation to the priesthood. I did not enter the seminary certain that I wanted to be a priest rather I only felt that it was a possibility that I wanted to explore. The seminary to me was very similar to dating in the sense both parties (boy and girl or seminarian and church) are exploring the possibility of a lifetime commitment to each other and both parties are trying to discover if they are going to be willing to put up with the quirks of their possible future spouse. In the seminary, I came to understand how demanding the Church would be as a spouse and what it would mean to live out my future vows of celibacy and obedience in much the same way I hope dating couples are thinking about the demands committing to the other person will place n their life and whether or not they can live out the vows they couples are asked to make on their wedding day.
One of the best tools the seminary offers a young man considering a vocation to the priesthood is what is called a formation contract or growth plan. I truly believed that this type of document can be helpful to anyone trying to discover God’s will for their life. The process begins with the seminarian examining his life and deciding on areas in which he needs to mature and grow. When they have done that they write it down on paper in a sense formulating a plan that he then shares with the formation team (in place of a formation team, I suggest sharing it with trusted friends). Then at the end of the school year, the seminarian looks back and writes a self-evaluation describing how he met or did not meet his goals. I found it to always be a powerful experience to step back and see how God was working in my life often in ways that I could only see in hind sight.
Another key aspect of seminary life is community life. Entering the seminary is in some ways like joining a fraternity. Community life comes with its struggles as a group of people struggle to live together but it also has many rewards. It was nice to be able sit down and hang out with other guys who were struggling with the same things that I was struggling with and to be with guys who were not going to tempt me to do things that were not Christian. Some of my best friends are guys who I spent time in the seminary with and who I continued to stay close to even after they left.
The seminary is also a place designed to help a person learn more about our Catholic faith. I came to learn just how rich our Catholic Faith really is and just how wise all the Church’s teachings really are. I also learned a variety of methods of prayers and grew deeper in my relationship with God. All of which I feel really blessed to have received. As I end this week’s ponderings I wish to simply thank all those who were either brother seminarians at one point or who taught or served at the seminary in some way.
Vocation Story Reflection
I have always tried to look at my priesthood as a gift from God and like any gift it is something that I can lose or break if I am not careful. I am pretty certain that no one enters into marriage in a hope to one day go through a divorce and in a similar way, I do not believe anyone gets ordained a priest on a trial basis but rather he intends to be a priest of God for the rest of his life. However, I also know that there are many “ex-priests” out there. I therefore try to never take my vocation for granted. Here are four things that I do to personally nurture my vocation.
The first thing I do is decide to be a priest each and every day. When I was growing up, my first job as a teenager was working for Little Caesar’s Pizza and I can remember one day getting into an argument with my aunt when I told her “that I had to go to work” and she informed me “that I got to go to work.” My aunt helped me to realize that having a job is a blessing and not a curse because there are many people out there who would love to have a job but cannot find work. In the same way, I choose to be a priest instead of having to be a priest. My parishioners are opportunities to show God’s love and not burdens or pests that must be dealt with. Celebrating Mass every morning is a joy and not an obligation. Maybe another way of looking at it is to remind myself that the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence.
The second thing I do to help nurture my vocation is realize that small sins lead to bigger sins. For example, I know there are certain physical places that I cannot go because it would cause great scandal and jeopardize my ability o be an effective priest therefore you will not catch me at a Hooters or a strip club. The next step in my spiritual accountability is to realize that there are mental places that I cannot allow myself to go to. I therefore avoid places where there is an over abundant amount of sexual innuendos, excessive negativity, or a lot of anti-Catholicism.
The third thing I do is and this is probably the most important is that I pray. In a special way an examination of conscience is necessary on a regular basis (every night) to make sure that I am living out the vows I made at Baptism and confirmed at my Confirmation and in addition to examining how I am living out my priestly vows. What has been my attitude toward God, the Church, and people this past day? What do I need to make amends for and what do I need to bring to the Sacrament of Reconciliation? (And no I do not get to hear my own confession).
The last thing I do to nurture my vocation is to associate with other holy people. I enjoy in a special way spending time with families. It is not always easy for me, as a priest, to hang out with people because some people try to put on a front when father is around and this leads to an uneasy tension. It is also frustrating when I walk up to a group of people and I hear someone say or whisper “quiet guys, father is here.” I cannot help but wonder what they were talking about and why were they talking about it if they did not want me to hear it. Have they forgotten that nothing is hidden from God? There are however people I have met and treasure who are naturally trying to live good lives and can respect me as a person and my vocation without putting me on a pedestal or leading me toward temptation. I truly treasure my experience with these people for inevitably I can feel God supporting me and speaking to me through these people.
I would like to make a few suggestions to all of you reading this as a way to apply this week’s pondering to your lives. First make sure you have a positive attitude toward life and to your vocation. Second ask yourself what thoughts normally precede your habitual sins and ask yourself how you can avoid having these thoughts. It might mean that you have to change your environment. Third I implore you to pray daily and to humbly examine your conscience each night. Lastly make an effort to surround yourself with other good holy people. God bless!
Vocation Story Reflection
As I continue to reflect on my vocation to the priesthood, I would like to share with you now some of the things that make priesthood difficult for me. I do this not in an attempt to make anyone feel sorry for me (I love being a priest) but rather because I believe that sometimes when we share our struggles with one another it helps people grow closer together.
One of my major struggles is coming to grips with the awesome responsibility that I have and at the same time realizing how inadequate I am for this vocation. Two things play into this problem. The first like many of you, I can get caught up in “doing, doing, doing” and begin to neglect my prayer life and move away from God’s grace and that is not good for anyone. The second thing is that there are some people out there who base part or their entire perception of God by how they feel their parish priest views them. I have run into many people over the years who have told me that they no longer go to church because of how some priest treated them. While I think it is bad when a priest does not give people the best impression, I also believe that people should take into account that the priest is only a human being like themselves. We see throughout Scripture how God uses the imperfect – Moses was a murderer and David was an adulterer-to bring about His mission. One of my favorite quotes is “The Church is a hospital for sinners not a hotel for saints.” We are all imperfect.
Another major struggle for me is when people mistake a preference they have for a particular liturgy or devotion for law. While I think that it is good to have preferences when it comes to the liturgy because it can help us pray better, I think that we must keep into consideration a couple of things. First is that my preference may not be someone else’s preferences because we are all unique individuals. Second is that when we come across a person who has a different preference in regards to the liturgy (as long as they are valid we will never use pizza and beer for the Eucharist) we have to be careful that we do not bash their point of view as we strive to explain ours. Lastly we have to keep in mind that it is the Eucharist that is the center and that Mass has been celebrated in every language, in the Grandest of Cathedrals, and in the lowliest of concentration camps. It is still the Mass. I know that I have certain quirks or a presidential style all my own which differs from the next priest because I bring a part of “who I am” to my vocation in much the same way that no two parents parent in the same way. I don’t mind it when people question why I celebrate Mass the way I do. I do find it hurtful though when people come to me and tell me how to celebrate Mass because most of the time they have mistaken a preference for a law.
The last struggle for me is to see other Christians fight and argue with one another because it sets a bad example for others. I personally love dialogue (two parties looking for the best answer) but I hate conflict (one or both parties has to win the argument). As Christians we are called to do everything including challenging each other as Christ would with great love.
